- 1 Marriage is important we need to make the best of it and live a joyful life with our partner
Marriage is important we need to make the best of it and live a joyful life with our partner
Couples who are preparing to attend classes for marriage counselling have got a lot they have got to bear in mind if indeed they want the classes to be fruitful. Listed below is some fundamental advice which can sound common however they definitely will assist you a whole lot if followed diligently.
Communication may be the key
Providers of marriage counselling think that communication is the key to resolving any issues. Whether it is a straightforward misunderstanding with colleagues at the job or it’s a grave concern in your marriage, discussing it always helps. Even though you are with the marriage counsellor, it is crucial that you communicate with no hesitation and talk about all of the issues that frustrate you in your romantic relationship. This is the only way you may resolve the nagging complications. If you don’t discuss your complications it would only result in more problems later on and it is certainly not healthful for your relationship.
Stress is a part of life and we need to understand it with marriage counselling
In today’s world stress has become a right part of life as we face stress in various walks of our lives, be it relationship. Particularly when it involves marriage, there is a large amount of stress as relationship brings about a whole lot of adjustments in the manner you look at existence. Things you could do when you were solitary would no more be possible or suitable after you are wedded and the earlier you acknowledge it and make peace with it the better it really is for your relationship.
Raising a family also brings in a lot of stress as it is very demanding with regards to time, feelings and even money. But when you acknowledge these adjustments and speak to your partner about it ,you’ll be surprised to observe that you can to handle these adjustments in a positive method so when you do that, you solidify the building blocks of your marriage.
Retain your individuality
Being married will not mean you need to spend every short moment you will ever have together. As a specific it is vital that you still pursue actions that you are thinking about even if your partner might not be thinking about them. Time apart helps for lovers, whether wedded or not; by the end of your day we are individuals and also have different requirements and preferences. So take the time to pursue actions that you would like to do and don’t drag your partner along with you.
Retaining the chemistry
Once you are married for a couple of years you will recognize that the spark that you distributed to your partner before you were married no more remains. You might believe that you are no more attracted to your partner physically, or even emotionally intellectually. Couples often believe that this is a caution bell and that there surely is something amiss with their relationships. Not so, for much like anything in lifestyle once you relax into a routine, it is up to you to shake up things in your life entirely. Never hesitate to test different things, meet people, continue adventure vacations or excursions and become familiar with your partner yet again.
Marriage counselling is a great service we provide to increase the happiness of partners in a relationship.
An article from Psych Central gives some steps on marriage counselling:
1. Communication has become negative. Once communication has deteriorated, often it is hard to get it going back in the right direction. Negative communication can include anything that leaves one partner feeling depressed, insecure, disregarded, or wanting to withdraw from the conversation. This can also include the tone of the conversation. It is important to remember that it’s not always what you say, but how you say it.
Negative communication can also include any communication that not only leads to hurt feelings, but emotional or physical abuse, as well as nonverbal communication.
2. When one or both partners consider having an affair, or one partner has had an affair. Recovering from an affair is not impossible, but it takes a lot of work. It takes commitment and a willingness to forgive and move forward. There is no magic formula for recovering from an affair. But if both individuals are committed to the therapy process and are being honest, the marriage may be salvaged. At the very least, it may be determined that it is healthier for both individuals to move on.
3. When the couple seems to be “just occupying the same space.” When couples become more like roommates than a married couple, this may indicate a need for counseling. This does not mean if the couple isn’t doing everything together they are in trouble. If there is a lack of communication, conversation and intimacy or any other elements the couple feels are important and they feel they just “co-exist,” this may be an indication that a skilled clinician can help sort out what is missing and how to get it back.
4. When the partners do not know how to resolve their differences. I remember watching GI Joe as a kid. Every show ended with the phrase “now you know, and knowing is half the battle.” For me, that phrase comes to mind with this situation. When a couple begins to experience discord and they are aware of the discord, knowing is only half the battle. Many times I have heard couples say, “We know what’s wrong, but we just don’t know how to fix it.”. This is a perfect time to get a third party involved. If a couple is stuck, a skilled clinician may be able to get them moving in the right direction.
5. When one partner begins to act out on negative feelings. I believe what we feel on the inside shows on the outside. Even if we are able to mask these feelings for a while, they are boundto surface. Negative feelings such as resentment or disappointment can turn into hurtful, sometimes harmful behaviors. I can recall a couple where the wife was very hurt by her husband’s indiscretions. Although she agreed to stay in the relationship and work things out, she became very spiteful. The wife would purposefully do things to make her husband think she was being unfaithful even though she wasn’t. She wanted her husband to feel the same pain she felt, which was counterproductive. A skilled clinician can help the couple sort out negative feelings and find better ways to express them.
6. When the only resolution appears to be separation. When a couple disagrees or argues, a break often is very helpful. However, when a timeout turns into an overnight stay away from home or eventually leads to a temporary separation, this may indicate a need for counseling. Spending time away from home does not usually resolve the situation. Instead, it reinforces the thought that time away is helpful, often leading to more absences. When the absent partner returns, the problem is still there, but often avoided because time has passed.
7. When a couple is staying together for the sake of the children. If a couple feels it is wise to stay together for the sake of the children, it may help to involve an objective third party. Often couples believe that they are doing the right thing when staying together actually is detrimental to the children. On the contrary, if the couple is able to resolve issue and move toward a positive, healthy relationship, this may be the best decision for all involved.
In my opinion, children should never be the deciding factor when couples are determining whether to stay together. I recall working with an adolescent who was having trouble in school. She was acting out and her grades were declining. After a few sessions she stated, “I know my parents really don’t like each other.” When I asked her why, she replied, “They are nice to each other, but they never smile or laugh like my friends’ parents.”
Children are generally very intuitive and intelligent. No matter how couples may think they are able to fake their happiness, most children are able to tell.
All marriages are not salvageable. In the process of marriage counseling, some couples may discover it is healthier for them to be apart. However, for those relationships that can be salvaged, and for those couples willing to commit to the process, marriage counseling may be able to remind them why they fell in love and keep them that way